Mullets are Madness

Mullets everywhere!!! Unfortunately (or fortunately), this style is long gone, especially if you’re not a country dyke. Why is it, when one celebrity gets a bad haircut and all of a sudden mullets are cool again. David Bowie was the first person to get a mullet, and that was "to do something different. I've seen many styles that are "different", but most are meant to break up the monotony of the year into fashion seasons, and not to become an everyday look. However, there are many other style options that will drop jaws (but in the “good” way") and look cute, or attractive even. Maybe it will be because you’re holding the hand of another female, and not because others are trying to figure out which one of you is the female. Let us not perpetuate an outdated stereotype of lesbians, including the unfound, and ridiculous, man envy syndrome. Everyone likes to be with someone low maintenance, and in turn (I hope) we ourselves wish to be so as well. How about a style that works with your natural texture, your face frame, and looks its worst before the blow-dry. This is saying much considering that a haircut or “shape” should look great after a towel dry. “Impossible” you think? “Unbelievable” you say? “Believe” I reply. Every person looks great when the stylist considers the person in their chair. You (yes you, the reader) have your own hair texture, face shape and density. As long as you are willing to work with these individual basics, you can have your own style that is specially cut for you (which is nice considering it’s on your head ) A mullet is not the only choice in getting a haircut that is both low maintenance and keeps girlish length.
I know, you’re thinking “who is this trying to tell me what’s best for my hair.” Well, I’ll tell you, someone as low maintenance as yourself. I despise styling my hair every morning to make it look presentable. I don’t want to fuss with it at all… well maybe just a little, you know, to feel like I did something with it. I know the heartache of fine hair. My ponytail (when it’s long) is the thickness of my thumbnail- for real. I’ll tell you a story that is relevant, I promise. I worked at a hair salon when I had long hair. I saw the stylists blow-dry and tease and curl these one-length trims that looked excellent at the finish, but I knew that I wouldn’t: a) know how to do the styling, and b) not have the time to do it, even if I could. After, when I trained to cut hair I learned that the “shape” of the haircut is the most important factor. Your face is the picture, and your hair is the frame. The frame is cut to match the picture, and the frame enhances the picture.
If you are wondering if your hairstyle makes you a possible victim of the bull dyke mullet, here are a couple of easy steps to consider to help you rid yourself of your mullet:
1. If the length doesn’t blend into or enhance your haircut, cut it off.
2. If you look like Rod Stewart in the 80’s, cut it off
3. If your length is scraggly and looks dry, cut it off
4. If your hair is short, but you still have to brush the bottom of your hair, refer to numbers 1, 2, and 3
Hopefully this article has helped those who are questioning in their minds if it really is time for a change. Besides, this little step towards the alleviation of mullet being synonymous with lesbian would continue to make the world a more beautiful place literally and figuratively. Low-maintenance hair allows you more time to chill and know that you look good. When it comes time to get a trim (a shape) remember that if you need to keep the length, just for the sake of having “length”, reconsider why you feel you need to keep it on your head.
Questions, Comments, or Expletives to share, feel free to comment